Why am I Gender Biased?


I have always been fond of little girls, they bring life to a home, their pure laughter and sweet tantrums can light up the darkest of places. But lately, as I am approaching the age of having a child, I don’t wish to have a daughter of my own. Not that I don’t want to but I cannot bear to bring an angel to this society of horrific beasts, where no place is home and no place is safe.

The only place where she would be unassailable is my womb but that too if the society around me allows it to be. If she is not considered as a burden and my uterus as a vending machine for delivering a boy. Even if I solely make the decision to bring her into this world, will she be given the same love as a baby with male genitalia?

Will she be given the same level of freedom by everyone around her? Leaving aside the psychological effect on a juvenile mind which is constantly under supervision and restrictions, how will I give her the right set of confidence to face the dreadful world outside?

With the increased crime rate against females and the slow rate of punishments, How can I protect her from molestation or even rape by relatives or teacher or a classmate? We are never as safe as we thought we were. I can’t even let her go to school alone, what if she gets abducted like Gudiya?

I can’t let her go to movies or travel by bus so that the inhuman and ghastly Damini incidence doesn’t repeat itself? How can I protect her from all these monstrous situations? I cannot let her look beautiful as beauty invites trouble. I will never buy nice clothes for her, esp jeans and body hugging tops, not that I am from an ancient era but I am protecting her from Vitriolage.

My heart bleeds to even think about it, but I don’t want to give up the idea of having a baby girl. May be the first few years are of endangerment, so should I just lock us both in the home and never leave?

I guess we will be safe there till she turns to a marriageable age, then I will find a nice guy and get her married. But what If I have no money for dowry and god forbid she becomes a victim of it. May be the best chance of survival is to let her fall in love. I am sure the guys these days look for a soul mate rather than a money bait. But what if she is tortured by the in-laws or becomes a victim of marital rape? Who has the patience to tolerate girls these days?

The chances of these scenarios working out are slimmer, so let’s forget about marriage, I will make her strong independent women with high hopes and dreams of changing the society around her. What best than joining civil service, but what if she falls into the same trap as IAS Durga Shakti, being at the highest cadre, still not treated rightfully and not to forget the endless mental harassment.

Is this what mankind has resorted to, where a girl/ female is not even considered human. No matter what age or qualification or rank the harassment is at every stage. With the sex ratio 940 girls/1000 boys, I couldn’t help but wonder, is it actually because of the male preference or due to the fearful aforementioned future of our girls that the birth of a female child is not a celebration but a dejection.

So I raise this question, what is the safe and secure way of parenting a girl? Do we need to protect her from the society or is it high time that the society needs to change? There is no right way of raising our girls, we need to start raising our boys in the right manner so that they treat the other gender as an individual with whole respect and dignity. She should be looked as a human who is more than just body parts and a child who is not a burden for her family, only then my fear of having a girl child will cease to exist.



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